Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Metaphore


Director Jon Phillips' latest film has stunned the world by winning both the "Most Anticipated" and "Biggest Letdown" prizes at various festivals and award ceremonies. One disgusted fan said "It's like you took Jar Jar and had him fire after Greedo. And then added lame CGI effects in place of the original awesome ones. And then they had a baby with the remake of The Shining."

Apotheosis


Never was an audience as disgusted and disappointed as they were by Director Jon Phillips' new film "Apotheosis", which can only be described as "pointless", or maybe "pedestrian", or even "crap." Audiences the world over walked out halfway through the showing.

Trepidation


Director Jon Phillips' latest film is nothing but a huge cinematic disappointment. Even the swelling orchestral score could not drown audience's boos of disapproval (as opposed to their boos of approval in his earlier works, which were generally followed by hoos of approval, and the two were combined to later be called tears of happiness)

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Rough Clip 05


Think you've seen it all? Then prepare to have the rug of boredom pulled out from beneath your feet and fall down a staircase of brilliant filmmaking, then break your neck on the basement floor of mind blowing excellence and be paralyzed from the moviegoing expectations down by director Jon Phillips' latest foray into the field!

Rough Clip 04


Brilliance is too drab a word to describe director Jon Phillips' latest film spectacular. It both grips the audience by the head and the heart, and doesn't let go until the last final seconds. The thrilling finale killed at least four elderly members of test audiences last September.

Rough Clip 03


Director Jon Phillips one ups himself with this attempt, drawing huge name stars into this production of political espionage and high stakes poker.

Rough Clip 02


Director Jon Phillips continues to wow audiences with his elaborate set design, brilliant storytelling techniques, and stunning plot twists that you will NEVER SEE COMING.

Rough Clip 01


This is probably the greatest clip ever made. It's stunning cinematic integrity is equaled only by its breathtaking cinematography and the depth of its characters.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Light Capturing Strategy #2

At a breakneck pace I delve into my second light capturing strategy, which is to try and get some shots with a lot of contrast, whether it be between lights and darks or various colors.

Light Capturing Strategy #1

Cunningly, my first light capturing strategy is to do only slow pans. To do this in stills, I'll take several stills at different points in a pan of the camera.